personal
For as long as I am away from home
I was lounging in bed, then hurriedly typed this down. I was right over the edge. Such a hypocrite.
I do not feel real, I do not feel alive
I want to get out and meet more of life
this fatigue ravishing down my strength
keeps me stuck in bed while listening to
a storm
I have grand plans for every weekend
a church visit, musical theatre is on the list
recording a new song or purchasing my
dream piano keyboard
yet, I end up getting ready for another
week to burn
I am a phoney, I am a hypocrite
having all these grand plans worming
around my head
how can I ever get them to move
when my body aches, and my gifts have
nothing to prove
I attempt to close my eyes to visualize
a happy future and a pleasant sunrise
yet, I see and hear nothing, God only knows
what I have been longing
I have joined the restless crowd,
doom scrolling
I do not feel real, I do not feel alive
writing poetry holds my hand to survive
though, truth, at times, eludes .
for you may think I play a victim
in this timeline, and I fear to be
misunderstood
I do not feel real, I do not feel alive
humans, are you still inclined?
to make use of yourselves and die
over and over again
are we awakened? or hanging on the
dead end
I do not feel real, I do not feel alive
am I just in too much pain or scared to meet
more of life?
I wish God could just walk with me
and pull me out of this strife
for as long as I am away from home,
I will never feel real, I will never feel alive.