dreams
Where’s My Niece?
This poem was carved out of a terrifying dream I had had during another Saturday afternoon nap. I woke up with an immeasurable amount of fear that I didn’t even know where I was anymore.
“Where’s my niece?” I ask my sister.
She freezes, almost in shock.
No word. Just disorientation.
Terror sends me to a melt down.
Rage claws right at me.
How can she not know where
her daughter is–her only child?
The only child whose blood I share.
What is happening?
I smack her face with my flagrant palm!
She gasps, taken aback. Her cry terrifies
my every vein, my every heartbeat,
and my every breath… that my spirit despises me
with all of its divine judgment… I catch
myself… as guilt rots me away… I break
down and hug her oh so tightly… my chest
is pinned against a lifetime of redemption.
I cannot lose her… again…
I cannot lose her again!
“I love you so much! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”
All of a sudden, two strangers intrude;
two men, one in uniform, the other in his
proud civilian clothes.
My sister and I wipe our tears away,
turn to the balcony as silence echoes
along with sinister breeze.
I am clueless as to what’s going on,
but I let the strangers be.
At some point, I look back to take a glimpse.
The one in civilian clothes inspects the
ceiling with a flashlight.
I mean to interrogate them, but the
right words struggle to slip out of me.
I’m too vulnerable for this.
I’m too tired of life.
Yet I’m fighting to keep love safe.
So where’s my niece?
I open my eyes and I see wooden walls
that I don’t recognize.
Where am I? Who am I?
Then I remember my niece.
In an instant, I remember where I am…
I remember who I am…
And I can still feel my sister’s pain,
though my pain is more tangible than
the world’s heartaches combined.
How am I still alive?
Between two dimensions, both feel real.
And I’m never the same again.