PERSONAL
Yeah, Alright. I’m Sick.
And I must stay sick.
I’m sick,
I have doubts all the time,
though I believe in what I do,
I truly love it,
but the doubts keep me at ease,
I may have ideas,
but who even has time to change minds?
adverts? AI? Quantum Physics?
they change minds all the time,
they launch curiosity and facts,
they brainwash, they create societies,
and yet here I am being so sick,
having doubts despite the strong belief.
Strong belief?
Or ego?
also, I’m watching new shows,
with exaggerated characters
and brilliant story lines that must
run as chaotic as how my brain
absorbs human connections
that are overwhelmingly
flawed and grotesque.
but I must stay sick,
and I must have all the doubts,
it’s an undesirable adrenaline
to keep going,
as I remind myself:
keep believing.
I think it’s a great opportunity
to stay sick and have all the doubts.
Because the hard truth is
no one out there will sit with me
in silence.
No matter how long I have devoted
my life to this. No matter.
All I have to do
is to stay sick
and caress all the doubts.
Not to change minds.
Not to plant any ideas.
But just to stay sick and find meaning
in the lasting doubts offered by
either ego or a strong belief.